Hurt and angry (What a shitty week)...

Okay, so The Honey got injured at work. Badly! He is going to be fine...and that is exactly what he told me while he was on his way to the trauma center in an ambulance with a paramedic holding his phone for him, so that he could call me to tell me that he wouldn't be calling me later that night as planned. Silly, Sweet, Crazy man! Two broken ribs and somewhere in the neighborhood of sixty staples later and he is almost as good as new. He says he will have a nasty, scary scar. I don't care. If after an injury like that all he ends up with is a scar, then I will be one happy woman. (Scars really do add character Honey, and are great at dull parties! You can always have fun making up strange and exotic ways that you got the scar.. for example..."I was deep sea fishing, and caught this huge shark. I fought for hours reeling him in. Just as I got him into the boat...", or "When I was mountain climbing in the Himalayas..." you get the idea... lol) He will be at home recovering for some time, so getting time to talk will be difficult, but we will find a way. If I am especially moody and bitchy for the next few weeks, you now know why. It just means that I am not getting enough Honey time. LOL This week has been a difficult one for me. The Honey got hurt, and I did not know how badly for two days (You have no idea what a terrified mind comes up with!), and I got into a few "discussions" with my friend, Toni. I love Toni. I really do, but lately she is just rubbing me the wrong way. Maybe it isn't her. Maybe it is me, but this week has been a very bad one where she is concerned. It started when we were discussing politics. Now, I will say that she is taking a bigger interest in this Presidential race than she ever has before. But, she is too easily led, and does not do her own research before choosing a candidate to get behind. So this week, I got to listen to her regurgitate the opinions of television commentators at me about the candidates. I will admit that I haven't yet really looked into all the candidates. I have a favorite, he probably will not be the party choice though, so when the parties choose who they will run, I will research the candidates at that point and decide who gets my vote. I am usually a bit more involved in the whole process. I have, in the past, volunteered my time to candidates. Answering phones, door knocking, helping at rallies, etc., but this year I just have too much going on. But when Toni made comments about things that I knew she really knew nothing about, it just set me off. I told her that she needed to be less swayed by the people in the little black box, and really do the leg work to choose her candidate or she might as well just not vote at all because an uninformed vote is worse than no vote at all. That was not very nice of me. I do not know why i said it. Really I am glad that she is finally taking an interest. That I will admit is my influence on her. During our local elections I told her that it was her civic duty to vote. LoL. She voted for only the third time in her sixty three years. She voted uninformed then too. The next thing we "discussed" was when she told me that she was upset because the "Government" stole her Christmas and gave it to "the Jews". When I heard that come out of her mouth, I had to ask her to say it again. I couldn't believe it. Yes, that was what I heard. So I asked her to explain. She said that she saw on the news that the White House did not put up a Nativity Scene this year. That in the place of the Nativity, they erected a Menorah. I reminded her that the White House still displays numerous Christmas trees each year, and that I did not have a problem with them also displaying a Menorah. She argued that the Christmas tree is NOT Christian, but rather Pagan in origins. I agreed with this, and reminded her that almost all of Christianity's symbols and traditions are Pagan in origin, but that they have become Christian in practice if not in origin. Her response was not to disagree (because she knows i am right!) but to restate that the Government has stolen her Christmas by doing away with the Nativity on the White House lawn. That was a "discussion" I just walked away from. (After telling her that if she didn't like that she will really hate it when they do away with all religious symbols, or have to display them all! Just out of curiosity what is the symbol of Kwanzaa? And what will the Satanists want displayed on the Anti-Christmas?) But the worst "discussion" by far this week was when she yet again brought up "addiction". Toni will proudly tell you that she is a recovering drug addict. She describes her sons as addicts and/or alcoholics. She excuses their bad behaviour (and that of my hubby) by blaming it on "addiction". I am probably going to piss a lot of people off with this, but I will tell you what I told her. There is no such thing as addiction. There are just selfish people making selfish choices. I know this to be truth because...

1.) These people make sober choices to use. (They all start off sober at some point! They were not born drunk, nor have they spent every waking and non-waking moment in a state of drunkenness!)
2.) The "addict" can think clearly enough to lie/steal/cheat his or her way into getting their "drug of choice". (I did not come up with the phrase "drug of choice" but that is in fact what it is a CHOICE!)
3.) Almost every "addict" I have ever known (and I have known a LOT of them) was able to "overcome their addiction" when faced with the consequences of losing something that is, to them, more important than the drug. For example, Toni's son knew that if he did not get and stay clean of the meth, he would go to jail for a minimum of two years. He valued his freedom more than the high. He got clean, and stayed clean for more than six months. A former friend who claimed to be "an addict" lost her children to state custody for a time. Amazingly this woman was able to quit using drugs on the very first day that her children were removed, and stayed clean the entire time that her case was still on paper with the courts. She passed every drug test with flying colors, and got her children back. (To my knowledge she is still clean.) The point is, that if the cost becomes more than they are willing to pay, they will "gain control" of a formerly "uncontrollable addiction". Everyone has a price that they are unwilling to pay, the trick is finding it. Once you find that price, the "addict" can overcome.

Needless to say, this theory of mine did not go over well with Toni. When she started to argue with me about it, I felt compelled to point out that she is in fact still a drug user and does NOT have all the sober years she lays claim to. She was floored and asked me to explain. I pointed out to her that she uses her prescription pain pills to deal with her emotional problems, and pointed out example after example to her. (I.E. On Tuesday night we had a flat tire. Within minutes of realizing that changing the tire to the donut did us no good, (the donut was flat too.) Toni had "the beginnings of a migraine headache and I need my pills, please get my pills, my eyes are blurry and my head is pounding"! As soon as the tire issue was resolved, the headache disappeared even though the pill had not been ingested long enough to have any effect on it.) She actually took this better than I expected. A lot better than I had expected. She thanked me for pointing it out to her. She said that she hadn't realized that she was doing that, that I was right, and that she needed to be more aware of things like that. She said she would talk to her doctor about it. She said that she wanted me to tell her when I saw her reacting to stress by taking unneeded medications. I felt badly afterwards. I had been meaning to tell her what i had been seeing her do, I just didn't know how to approach her, and I let it come out in a moment of anger instead of in a moment of love. i wish I could do it over. I would still do it, just kinder, gentler. I love Toni, I really do. That's all, Goodnight.

P.S. Honey get some rest. I love that you want a few minutes with me, but getting up and down that much can't be good for you. I want you to get well soon. I miss you already!