Wednesday, January 2, 2008

A kiss goodbye...

Okay, so I got up at six thirty this morning. By seven I was out the door and headed to Toni's to get ready for my day. (I practically live at Toni's, I do everything there but sleep, and even that sometimes.) It was very cold on the walk over. I think the news said seven degrees. I didn't catch what it was when you included the wind chill. I got to Toni's and for the first time in a long time, did not make coffee. I had no time. I jumped into the shower and scrubbed my hair and body quickly. (Toni has a tiny hot water heater!) As soon as I was done I got dressed and attempted to blow dry my hair. That is always a mistake. It ends up a frizzy mess. Oh well, today was NOT about me. I threw on a touch of make-up to try and hide the dark circles under my eyes, and it was time to go. We had to be in Omaha at nine. Deb picked me up. Alicia and her fiance Ryan were in the back seat. We headed across the bridge, and finally made it to our destination. We were buzzed in and had to sign in with the woman at the desk. We were told to have a seat, someone would come for us shortly. We didn't have long to wait. During the short time that we were sitting there, Deb began to cry. I put my arms around her, and told her it would be okay. "This is a good thing", I think I said. Deb dried her tears, I told her not let HER see her cry. She came around the corner like a shy little girl. She was dressed in jeans and a "Harry Potter" Hoodie. No make-up, her hair pulled back with a pen sticking out of it. Our Emily. Still very much a little girl. Today a woman we had to let go of. She led us to a small room. There were only two other people there. Young boys. Young men. Flags lined the wall behind the podium. Other than that, the room was practically bare. We stood along the back wall. Emily joined the two boys facing the podium. In a matter of minutes a man entered the room, and went to the podium. He talked to Emily and the boys for a moment, and then he started. It took just about 3 minutes, and it was over.

I remember the first time I met Emily. I was already married to her father. (Something she has never really forgiven me for.) She was six. A tall, skinny little thing with legs that seemed impossibly long for her body. She waited, that day, until no one else was paying attention. As soon as she got her chance, she whispered to me. I will never forget what she said. "I hate you." I just looked at her and smiled. "That's okay", I said. "You do not have to like me in order for me to love you." She was taken aback for just a split second, and then looked at me with those defiant eyes and responded, "I will never love you." At that point everyone came back into the room, and she ran over to hug her father some more. She didn't speak to me again that day.

Today, I stood by and watched as Emily became a member of the Untied States Army. I had been invited. I got hugs and kisses. I got thanked for coming. And that little girl with those same defiant eyes looked at me today and told me that she loved me. After the swearing in, we went to meet her at the airport. We were hoping to be able to see her off at the gate. That was a No Go! We could only get passes to get beyond security if she was headed to Iraq we were told. I hope we never have to get passes. We waited with her until she finally had to go get checked in. As she walked away, I watched her go. She is tall and skinny and she has legs that seem impossibly long for her body. And as she walked the walk she had to take alone, that walk away from her mother, and her sister, and myself...that walk into adulthood, I didn't see the woman she has become. I saw a six year old child. And I forced myself not to cry. That's all, Goodnight.

Emily's Oath...

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2 comments:

CrystalChick said...

Seems that over the years she warmed to you, certainly enough for you to be invited to a very important milestone in her life.
You gave her time and showed her she could love you and that's great for you both. I'm sure you'll miss her.
I miss my nephew alot, he's on deployment until early March, on a submarine. We talk alot in email tho, so when she's done training and settles somewhere I'm sure she'll keep in touch! Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful young lady. Best of luck to her and thank her for me!