Saturday, February 23, 2008

A little bout of crazy...

Okay, so I had a crazy day. Not crazy like strange things happened. I was crazy today. I woke up feeling as though I wanted to cry. I have no idea why. I hid it well I think. For the most part. When I got to work, Lina (Catalina) said that I looked "too happy." She just smiled and did her little heart throb sign at me. I smiled and walked away. How could I explain to someone who speaks so little English that I was faking it. That what I wanted to do was scream, and sob, and I didn't know why? I cheated and listened to my MP3 player all night while I was working. My bosses know I do it sometimes. They don't care. I just have to be careful with the QA lady that doesn't like me. She takes it personally that I break all the rules. It is nothing personal. It is just my nature. Hell, the big boss just rolls his eyes and pretends not to notice when he catches me at it. Maybe it is because my rule breaking does not hurt anyone. It does not effect my job performance, except to maybe help me make it through another cold boring night. So anyway, I listened to music, and sang loudly and badly all night. And managed to hold back the tears until I was standing in the cold waiting for Toni to come pick me up and bring me back here. That was when the Dam broke. I just stood there, tears running down my face, not knowing why, and trying to keep everyone from noticing. When I got in the car, the sobs came. I went to Toni's for awhile and cried til the tears wouldn't come anymore. I feel better now. I still don't know why I needed the tears today. But whatever it was, is gone for now. So today is a good day. That's all, goodnight.

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