The father I do not want...

I just got back from Eppley Airfield. I took my father because he had an early morning flight out to Los Angeles. He will be gone for just over three weeks. Thank God. I love my father, I am just tired of him living here. He has a whole barrel of issues. He is an alcoholic/addict. The addict side being much more prevalent these days. He does not use at my house. He knows better. I would call the police on him myself. I will not risk my children for anyone, not even him. He makes life here unbearable sometimes. He is much too harsh with my children. I find that rather odd considering that when I was a child, for the year or two that I lived with him, he took no notice whatsoever of what I was doing. Back then we kids had very few rules. And no consequences to breaking the few there were. But now, my children get yelled at by him for the slightest infraction. I find myself having to remind him that this is MY home and MY children, not his. I do not enjoy doing it. It causes even more tension, but my kids do not deserve that kind of treatment. I find the more he is here, the less I like him. I love him. I guess that is more instinct though, than earned. His presence also causes a strain in my marriage. Not because my hubby wants him gone and I do not, (The hubby is the one that told him he could stay again.) but his just being here does not allow for much intimacy. It is hard to cuddle on the couch with thoughts of romance when you know you might be interrupted by him at any minute. A closed bedroom door does not seem to indicate to him a want for privacy. The phone rings at strange times. And strangers come to my door at odd hours. They generally only do it once though, I must admit. I have a habit, good or bad you must decide, of rather forcefully informing people that it is MY phone and I do not accept calls after ten P.M. except for three reasons. The reasons I list are Amputation, Coma, or Death. And when strangers come to my door, they are greeted unhappily by me and my rather large and vicious looking (she would not hurt anyone unless I was in danger) dog. I am not polite. It is my house. I do not have to be. I will not lie to cover for things my father has done wrong. It is not in my nature to lie. I force him to live with the consequences of his actions. He doesn't seem to ever learn the lesson though. He does not work, and supporting a full grown man capable of holding down a job is getting quite old. When my Grandmother sent him the plane ticket, I was shocked to see that it was round trip. Granted both his daughters, and one of his sons live in this area, but he really has nothing to come back to. How long does he think I should be his keeper? You would think he would get tired of living life the way he does. Being a sponge. I would be terribly embarrassed to have to live off the kindness of one of my children, yet he has done this off and on, mostly on, for almost nine years now. I have kicked him out of my home numerous times. He always comes back eventually. Why we keep taking him in is a mystery to me. I guess it is because I have visions of him sleeping under a bridge, or being found dead in an alley that makes me do it. My head knows that that wouldn't happen. He can be very smooth when he wants to, and would find a way to survive. But my heart imagines all kinds of horrible outcomes to my turning him away. I have now supported him for six years longer than he ever supported me growing up. I do not owe him anything. I need to find a way to make him be responsible for himself, and not have the guilt that comes with the "tough love". I will figure it out. Eventually. But for now I plan on enjoying my family without him here. I will play music and let the kids dance til the wee morning hours with no fear that he will start whining. My daughter will be able to sleep in her own bed again. And I may get "romantic" with the hubby on the coffee table this weekend. In general, we will be the family that we are best at being. One that does not include my father.