I am losing my mind...

I am losing my mind. I do not mean that I am going crazy. I literally am losing my mind. As in losing IQ points. At an alarmingly rapid pace. I know this because, having nothing better to do to fill the void between working, sleeping, and cleaning, I decided to retest my IQ and compare my scores to the last time I took these tests. Now since no one but me ever reads this silly little blog of mine, I feel I can be honest. (No I will not post my actual scores, just on the off chance that someone does take the time to read my page when they surf in by accident.) I took these tests for the first time about three and a half years ago. Back then, I scored in the low (very low) genius range. Now, just for the record, I do not consider myself a "genius" as most people define it, but that is where my scores fell. I will admit that it was somewhat pleasant to find out that I am a little bit smarter than the average wife, but trust me, it did not in any way change my life. Back then I was offered membership into "The International High IQ Society." Not being one who toots her own horn, I declined. Besides, I would much rather sit around with normal people drinking a cold beer than sit in a room with a bunch high IQ having boring braggarts. But over the years I have secretly held fast to that number (my score) in my head, whenever I had to deal with morons. I would tell myself that maybe they are not morons, maybe I am just being a snooty bitch. That was how I could control my temper when the idiots around me were driving me insane. But apparently, I will soon be one of those morons, so I need to start practicing my WWE watching skills, and learn to read things like The National Enquirer and Us magazine. You see, I really am losing my mind. In a short three and a half years, I have lost in the neighborhood of seven IQ points. I am only thirty five for God's sake. Can you imagine what I will be like when I hit seventy? I think I had better start stocking up on the drool pads and Depends now. It seems as though I am going to need them. Now I am not exactly an idiot quite yet, I still score in the high "Gifted" range, but if this keeps up I will be senile before long. Let's see, seven points every three years for the next thirty five years. Oh hell, see the math is giving me a headache. Where's a pen when you need one? I used to be able to do shit like that in my head, now I need a pen and paper, and maybe a calculator and a slide rule. Okay, I did the math, and it goes something like this... you take the estimated thirty five years that I will continue to live, and divide it by the three year span between tests. You get eleven point sixty seven (okay actually it came out to be 11.6666 on into infinity, so I cheated and rounded up.) So now you take that eleven point sixty seven, and multiply it by the seven points I am losing during each of those time spans, right? So the answer I came up with is that by the time I hit seventy, I will have lost a sum total of eighty one point sixty nine IQ points. (And if I did the math wrong I do NOT want you to fucking tell me!) See, drooling on myself at that point will be the least of my worries. I won't be smart enough to remember to eat. I will be a house plant with legs. Damn, I should have joined the High IQ Society when I had a chance. That way at least when I am sitting there enjoying shitting in my pants, someone could have read the certificate to me to remind me that I was once a pretty smart gal, but hell, I wouldn't be able to understand it anyway. That's all, Goodnight.