Darelle

Last night I was looking, sadly, forward to another night at home. I was going to clean a little. Read a little. Watch a few movies maybe. The hubby was off helping a friend find a leak in his roof and patching it. It was me, the kids, and my father who has yet again moved in with us when his last relationship went sour. I had just come home from going grocery shopping. I was dreading a boring evening ahead. I heard a loud roar from a car outside, coming down my street. Then the car stopped in my driveway. It was my nephew and my brother-in-law. I ran outside to hug my nephew. His name is Darelle, and I haven't seen him in ages. Of all my nieces and nephews on my husbands side of the family, he has always been my favorite. But he was a hard child to love. He was full of anger at all adults. He was full of anger at life. My husband and I took him in numerous times, when his mother would kick him out, or abandon him. I did my best with Darelle. I loved him without being loved in return. I made rules, and tried to get him to follow them. But he was not my child which he often pointed out to me. I worried about his future. I talked to him, constantly, about life and how it would treat him if he kept screwing around the way he was. He didn't believe me. He made life with him unbearable. His anger got even more out of control. I finally had to ask my brother-in law to take him, because I was concerned about the effect the constant turmoil was having on my own children. I cried for weeks knowing that I had become just one more adult who let him down. I didn't see Darelle for a few years. Then I was told he went to prison. He was caught in a stolen car. His younger cousin had stolen it and lied to Darelle about where it came from. They were just cruising around, being kids when they got pulled over. Darelle took the fall to keep his younger cousin out of jail. When I heard what happened, I was angry. Angry at the life Darelle had already had to suffer, and angry that he would be so stupid as to go to jail for someone else's crime. About two years ago, Darelle showed up at my door. He had been out of jail for more than a year. He was driving a decent car, and had money in his wallet. He had been working the same job for more than six months. He looked healthy, and relatively happy. He said he couldn't stay long, but that he had stopped by to thank me. I didn't know what he meant. He said he needed to thank me for loving him despite all his mistakes. He said that he knew that no matter what he had done that he could always show up on my doorstep, and I would make room for him. He said that rarely in his life did he feel loved like that, before or since. He told me that he did not blame me for asking him to leave when I did. That he knew he was out of control back then, and if the situation were reversed, he would have done the same for the sake of his kids. I asked about why he would go to jail for someone else. He explained that he thought his cousin had learned from his mistake, and that he felt his cousin had a better chance in the world than he did. He said he was afraid that jail would ruin the cousin for good. He also said that it was the best thing he ever did. He did not like jail he said, but it changed him. It helped him to grow up, and see that he had been wasting his life being angry. He has changed his life since then. Last night we went to the casino for awhile. Darelle, my brother-in-law and I. Eric won a few hundred, I won twenty bucks, and Darelle lost. He didn't get angry. He smiled and said he did not play any money he did not intend to lose. That was very grown up. We went back to my house, picked up the hubby and hit a bar in Omaha's Old Market District. It is called the Dubliner. Nice bar. I will never go there on a weekend night again. It was so crowded with college kids I could barely breathe. We had to scream for service. And the Jack and Cokes were too small. The hubby drank a few beers. (Guinness and Murphy's.) Eric drank the same. Darelle had one. He said he couldn't have more because he was driving. It sucked for him, but it was a very grown up decision. We had a nice time. I forgot how funny all the men in my life are when they all get together. I laughed so much that night that I was sore the next morning. I am so glad to have Darelle back in my life. They are supposed to come over for a barbecue next weekend. I can't wait.