People are strange...

So it is now 7:11 in the morning and I am wide the fuck awake. I really should be sleeping. I have been awake since just after four this morning when the hubby finally decided to come to bed, and woke me up by moving the hair out of my face. I am thinking that if I was sound asleep, the hair was obviously not bothering me, and he should have left me alone. Because, of course, as soon as I was awake, I had to pee. And, if you don't know by now you ought to know that once I get out of bed to use the restroom, I am up for the entire day. But I am still too groggy (having forgotten to buy coffee at the store yesterday) to really think clearly, so I am not sure that I can write anything coherent. Anyway, the point is, I am awake and the whole rest of the house is asleep. I really will write that post about talking dirty. Soon I promise. Just not now. I was thinking this morning while sitting in bed watching the movie I started before I fell asleep, that I have some really odd habits and quirks. For example, I sleep with the TV on, all the time. Every night (or morning) when I crawl into bed, I pop in some DVD that I have already seen (it has to be one I have seen or I will watch it instead of sleeping), put on the captions (so I can read it till I fall asleep), turn the sound down really low (but not off), and set it to repeat. I am usually asleep in the first ten minutes. The hubby sometimes comes in and turns it off. I really hate that, because it wakes me up to not have that little bit of background noise, and flashing lights. Then I have to get up and turn it back on. (Because he always steals my remotes.) In the morning when I get out of bed, the first thing I do is light a cigarette, and sit my ass in front of my computer to check my email. (I keep looking for one from the honey, but I NEVER get one. By the way Sweetheart, I finally figured out how to unblock my email address, call me and I will tell you how.) I have a tendency to get up in the night and drink milk straight from the gallon jug. I can not leave my house in the morning without kissing my children, even though they are asleep and do not have any clue that I am doing it. I read in the bath tub. I sometimes brush my teeth in the shower. (Saving time I guess, I don't know, there is no explaining my quirks.) I keep receipts for everything, but I have no system for filing them, they are just scattered everywhere. If I ever needed to find one, I would be screwed. I always hold my pinkie up when I am drinking something. I do not even realize I am doing it, unless someone points it out to me. I can't chew gum without popping it. I always have a stack of at least ten different books next to my bed that I am currently reading. I buy the same books over and over without realizing it. I have space issues. By this I mean, I have a certain area around my body that I consider my space, and unless I Love you, it pisses me off if you enter my space. I buy movies by the dozens that I never end up watching. I own twenty six pets, which includes three dogs, two cats, one ferret, two guinea pigs, one hamster, two sugar gliders, twelve zebra finches, two parakeets, and a salt water aquarium that houses one clown fish. (All the other fish died during a two day power outage last summer.) I snore. I bake bread from scratch during the winter. (You should try my honey wheat, it is the best!) I always forward emails that say "please forward". I read HANDBOOK FOR THE HELLBOUND every day before I leave for work. I have never had a drivers licence, but have driven for years. I hung pictures of my family (and my honey) in my locker at work, so when I get pissed off I can see their smiling faces and feel better. I hate having my picture taken. I hate being on speaker phone even if the person I am talking to is the only one there. I live out of a laundry basket, because I hate folding clothes. (I do not mind washing and drying them, just folding them.) I change my hair color a couple times a year. (In fact, I am going blonde today.) I sometimes forget to check the mail for a week at a time. I hate wearing shoes, and am barefoot as much as possible. (I even got married barefoot.) I like to go for walks at two in the morning. (I take my dog Fergie with me, she is a Sharpei/Labrador mix that everyone thinks is a Pitbull.) I listen to music, and dance in the living room with my kids at all hours of the night. I sleep with at least one foot hanging out of the covers at all times. When I read to my kids, I do funny voices for different characters. I make up words to songs I don't know when I sing to my babies. I sing all the time at work. (Thank God that it is so loud and everyone wears earplugs.) Apparently, when I am angry I turn my right foot outwards. (So that if I am standing, you can tell I am mad without me having to say anything.) I cry at sad movies, or sad books. When I get drunk, I flirt with EVERYONE, men, women, whatever. I hate being alone. I leave my dirty clothes on the floor right next to the front door when I get home at night. (I pick them up in the morning though.) I drink Australian wine. ('Cause we all know they grow the best grapes, right?) I love being kissed behind my knees, and on the back of my neck. I am afraid of horses, but I would love to learn to ride one. I love riding in planes or helicopters, it doesn't matter just get me in the air. I am afraid of heights. (Two rungs up on a ladder is about as high as I can go.) I love roller coasters. I miss walking on the beach. I love to fish, but I do not eat fish. (Except sushi, and Orange Roughy.) I love Kansas City Chiefs football. I take showers so hot it turns my skin red. I don't dump my ashtray until it can not possibly hold another butt. And I love to play in the rain, except when it is freezing like it was yesterday. That is just a partial list of things that make me so weird. I know I am a freak, you don't have to tell me. That's all, Bye.

P.S. I added a permanent link to Handbook for the Hellbound right over there --> under the clock. Why? 'Cause it is my page and I can do it if I wanna.